Memorial *Edited*

I was due today. I know that doesn't mean that he would have came this weekend but this is the date we are going to use. Lets just say its been a really sucky weekend. We did get out and just spent time together and talked alot. We are both very emotional but we are not doing too bad I think. We went to a nice area today and had a little memorial for him. We wrote letters to him and burned them and we released a couple of balloons that had some messages written on them. I took some pictures which I will put at the end here. We miss him so much and we have so many conflicting emotions. We wish that everything didn't happen and that he was still here with us but on the other hand if it would not have happened we would not have peanut right now. Like I said just a lot of emotions going on. I am also including another digital scrap page but be forewarned it does have a picture of Shain when he was born.

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*I can's get the memorial pics to upload I will try again Later*
*but here is the scrapbook page*

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Finally It let me upload the pictures. Here they are.

The Burning Ceremony

Releasing the Balloons

12 Weeks

I have been seriously delinquent and I feel really bad. It has been over 2 weeks since I have posted. Everyone is doing great. In fact I am feeling so much better then I was. I have no more dizziness therefor I have no headaches. I haven't felt any pain from my cyst in over a week now. I'm starting to have a little bit more energy though if I keep not sleeping I'll have less lol. I am a tummy sleeper and it is starting to hurt. Every time I roll in my sleep I wake up because its painful. TP says I should buy a body pillow. We have now told everyone and they are all excited. I think my mom already had figured it out when I told her just by her reaction. Its really hard for her though because she really wants to be here when the baby is born, but my family lives way down in Texas and here we are in Illinois. My mother doesn't fly unless someone came with her and she doesn't drive. So I don't see her getting up here. We heard the heartbeat again last Saturday and it was at 161 so still really nice and strong. I am going to my new doctor on Monday because the one I was seeing only sees you till you are 12 weeks. We are so excited to be past the first trimester. Now we just have to get past week 16. Everything has been going so well but we are still so nervous. This month has been a little hard on both of us because this would have been the month that our little Shain would have been here. Next weekend I will have 3 days off and we are going to do something special to honor him. Not quite sure yet but we have some ideas. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Update Post

Ok Here was my crazy week last week. I woke up on Monday and I was extremely dizzy, so dizzy I could barely make it to the bathroom. But by the time I started getting ready for work it had gone down a little so I went to work. By the time I got to work I was very dizzy again. I didn't even clock in, my boss sent me home. I was like this all week. It never got worse but it didn't get any better. Finally on Thursday i said screw it and I went to the doctor. All she told me was that it was normal. So I'm still a little dizzy but I can handle it. At least its not as bad as it was. Some great news though. When we went to the doctors we got to hear the heartbeat! So exciting!! I think that I could listen to that sound all day long every day. Ok below are some digital scrappages I made. It's the first time I've ever made this kind of stuff and I don't think they are all that great but hey you got to start somewhere. I would love to do real scrapbooking but its just really expensive. The first one is of R at Christmas when we gave him his Jr. jacket. He loved it. He can't wait to wear it now that its not so cold anymore. The second one is peanuts utlrasound pic.

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Pay It Forward

Ok I have been a slacker and should have posted this last week. But better late then never. A lot of stuff going on here and I will post tomorrow on an update on me and the little peanut. I won this over at babypants and now its time for me to pay it forward. the rules are listed below so feel free to comment, first 3 will get something by me. : )

Here are the rules:
1. Be one of the first three people to leave a comment on this post, which entitles you to something handmade by me (something crafty or yummy).
2. Winners must post this challenge on their own blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, and send handmade goodies to three more folks, the first three who leave a comment on your blog.
3. The gift that you send your first three commenters can be from any price range, and you have 365 days to make & ship your item. (This means that you should be planning to keep your blog at least until you’ve received your gift and sent your gifts.) And remember, it’s the spirit and the thought that count!
4. When you receive your gift, feel free to blog about it, and share the Linky Love. If you’re not one of the first three commenters on this post, you can still play. Just create a Pay It Forward post on your own blog, and start your own chain. And encourage your blogging friends to play along.
Okay comment away!!

9 weeks and A Picture

I had my ultrasound today and everything is looking good. The baby is measuring 9w0d so spot on. The heartbeat was a nice 169 bpm. The bleeding looks to have stopped and i am so happy for that. We saw the baby moving it's little arms around and it was so cute. I am very tired so I am going to say good night and here is a picture of the little peanut.

Taking It Easy

Not much going on. I'm taking it easy. Things are changing at work. They are going to put me back in the little baby room (goes up to 6 months) working 8-5. So no more split shift for me :). And I will not be alone ever. Because there are a couple of the little ones I still cannot lift. I think I'm going to like it, especially the not closing part. It will be nice to get home at 5 everyday instead of 6. A few weeks ago I made a couple of outfits for the 2 girls at my work that had babies. Here are a couple of picts.

They are made of fleece and very easy to make. The little girls was a little big but not to big. His fit just right. I love to sew. I am with them everyday and I do really good but every now and then I look at them and think mine should be here soon. We were all pregnant at the same time but we were all 3 months apart. So it's a little sad sometimes but I think I'm doing really good with it.

I have not had any spotting, very good sign. I'm going to be having an ultrasound done on Thursday and by the grace of me I will get a pic this time. I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Date Change

I had to change my week because according to my u/s I am only 7w5d today. Which according to my ovulation day would also be correct. I am going back to work tomorrow since I have had no spotting. I'll just be on light duty. That also means that I will not be in my baby rooms since often I am by myself and cannot lift the bigger ones. I will be will the 4s or 5s. Don't get me wrong I love all the kids but the babys are more of my zone. I guess I will find out everything for sure tomorrow.

Bed Rest Update

Just a small update. I'm still in bed and TP is just waiting on me hand and foot. :). I have not started spotting so that is really great news. Other then that nothing much else is going on. Being in bed is driving me insane and TP too I'm sure lol. But it is all for the best little thing in the world.

8 Weeks

I am at 8 weeks today and am on bed rest for the rest of today and all of tomorrow. I went to work this morning and no sooner then I get there I start cramping on my left side. I'm all in a panic because it hurts pretty bad. No spotting though so that's good. My boss tells me to go, and I pick up TP and head to the er because my doctors doesn't open til 10 and its only 7. After spending 5 hrs at the hospital they tell me that they see a cyst on my left ovary and to go see my doctor. I call the doctor and she tells me to come in right away. I get there and she takes me back. She looks over the report and says the cyst she is not worried about, what they did not tell me is that a have a very little bleeding behind the placenta on the implantation site. So she puts me on bed rest and progesterone. I also can not lift over 15 pounds at work for 1 month. So here I am going crazy on a borrowed laptop lol. Peanut is measuring very good and 7w3d and had a nice healthy heartbeat at 163 bpm. So that makes us very happy. It just seems that things like to happen at 8 weeks for us. Last time our spotting happened then. So far so good on that front. So far we have had 3 ultrasounds and no picture to take home with us hopefully on the next one in 3 weeks lol.

7th Anniversary

*I wasn't worrying about my weight. I was just saying I have no pants to wear. Lol.*

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So Monday was TP and mine's 7th anniversary. I can't believe it's been 7 years. I love her as much as the first day and a whole lot more. We didn't do anything really because we went out on the weekend. But we did exchange cards and had a nice dinner at home (That she cooked). It was a nice evening. We had to take Mercy in to the vet today to get fixed. Poor baby and we miss her already. She has to stay the night because the vets closed to early for us to get her. I made an appointment for my next ultrasound for Friday the 20th. I cant wait to see our little peanut and to see it's little heart beating.