18 Weeks

I can't believe it. I am 18 weeks. Almost halfway there. At some points it seems like it took forever to get here and other times, it feels like it zoomed by. My appointment went great. Peanut is doing very good. Nice strong heartbeat though I am not feeling any movement yet. My big gender scan will be next Tuesday at 630 pm. We can't wait. I am going to hold off and tell my mom on mother's day. I think she'll like that. It will also be the day before her birthday too. I got to cut this a little short today because I am studying for my CDA to be a preschool teacher and I have 8 more books to go and only 3 more months to do them in.

Dr.s Appointment Tomorrow

I am at 16 weeks 4 days if you go by the last ultrasound I had but I believe right now the doctor is going by my LMP which puts me at 17 weeks and 1 day. I think I'll go by that one lol but I'm not changing my ticker. I have my next prenatal appointment tomorrow at 3. It's just a routine visit. I should get my slip to make my 20 week ultrasound. I can make it anytime between 18-20 weeks. I don't think TP and I will be able to make it to 20 and will probably get it done middle of next week. We both cannot wait to find out what little peanut is.

Love

Can I just tell you how much TP and I love this little one. Absolutely and totally love him/her. I find it amazing how something so tiny and not even here can make us love it so much. I rub my belly constantly even though I don't have a big baby belly yet just to feel closer to them. The minute I get home TP kisses my belly and talks to it. I mean its just constant love outpouring. And sometimes it make me feel guilty. Guilty that I am giving it this much love. That I am not thinking of Shain every waking moment. Because before we got pregnant this time that's what I did. He was always on my mind, always right there. And I'm not saying that I don't think about him because I do. Everyday. Just not every single moment. I am feeling more guilty right now then I have in the last 16 weeks. I think because this is when I lost him. Peanut is as big as he was when he was born. Everything that I am going to experience now is going to be new. Something I didn't get to experience with him. And I can't wait. I can't wait to see my tummy get bigger and to feel the kicks and punches. And yet still there it is, the guilt, and I can't seem to shake it. Sometimes I wish I could talk to someone. I talk to TP but shes a little to close to the subject. A little too raw you know what I mean. I need someone a little farther away from it. But I don't and unless I come up with magical funds to pay for something like that I don't see that happening. But I have you and you will listen and let me rant and pour my heart out so thank you. I know this started as an outpouring of love but then the other stuff came up and I had to get it of my chest.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter to all those who do Easter. TP pampered me all weekend so I could take it easy. I go back to the doctor in a week and a half. So far it looks as though the spotting has stopped but I'm still not going to go to crazy at work tomorrow. I'm going to leave some pics of R last year hunting eggs and in his suit. We hunted eggs inside because there was too much snow on the ground last year. Also I'm putting up a pic of the last ultrasound we had. I made a scrape page. Tell me what you think of it.

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Spotting *Updated*

This morning I was greeted by some nice red spotting. SO I am going to the doctor, my appointment is in 1 hr. I am so flippin nervous. I'm at 15 weeks gosh darn it this shouldn't be happening now. I think the main reason I am so nervous/scared is that I am at my point last time. This is when it happened. I will update as soon as we get home.

~~~~~~Update~~~~~~

We are back. Everything looks great. Peanut looks great and was just a wriggling away. We went to the doctor and heard the heartbeat but the doctor wanted to make sure are minds were at ease and sent us for an ultrasound. The great thing about the doctor I'm going to is that they are right there in the hospital. So all I had to do was just go down the hall. I was taken right back and we were in there for a whole hour. They were just looking at everything. They said that my placenta was really close to my cervix and that's why I was spotting. Also my uterus was contracted. You can see it in the picture I'm going to post. The baby was head down but in the pic it looks like its on its tummy facing down. below the baby you will see a gray bump, that's my uterus contracted. They said it's nothing and that its not like a contraction and that it happens all the time. It just tightened. No peak to see if we know what it is yet, that will be in another month.

Random Info

So I realized I told everyone I was going to a new doctor but didn't really go into detail. My new doctor is in a practice by himself but does have a nurse practitioner. Most visits till closer to the end I will see her. On my first visit though I did see him and I liked him a lot. I have not met her yet but was told by my friend that she is very good. My friend referred him to me. TP and I like the fact that these are the only people we will see and that he is going to be delivering the baby. I'm sorry but if I'm going to have someone up there like that in my neither regions, I want to kinda know and like that person lol. I'm alittle on the private side and hate having my annuals and stuff like that.

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On other news. Until today i have had no real symptoms yet. Tired yes but not as bad as last time. No nausea, no sore boobs. I have had to go to the bathroom alot but I think that could be attributed to the fact of me drinking 5 gallons a water a day. And that's just a little on the tall tale side. But today I feel as though a ton of bricks are on my chest. They hurt and they feel so heavy. I swear they have grown a size since yesterday lol. TP says she sees a big difference but shes been saying that for weeks now. I'm just now noticing it. And it makes me a little scared. I am already a 38 D sometimes a DD depending on the bra. Now for my 4'11" frame that is not on the small side. It makes me wonder how big am I going to get to. And don't even get me started on after the birth when they say you get even bigger. I can't even thank about it lol.

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TP and I had started saving money for all the stuff we are going to need. I will not have much time to cover me on leave and so on top of everything I will need to have enough to do that. Well we just go offered a crib with a matching changing table and dresser. I was also given another changing table that is just one of those rack like ones that we are going to use to hold baskets of either toys or cloths. The only thing left that I really want is a rocker. And not a glider but one of those old simple rockers.

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I do have a question for any one that has used them. We are thinking of using g*ipers. We were wondering how well they have worked for people. If you have used then let us know how they are.

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We are starting to get so excited now that we are getting father and farther with no bleeding and cramping. Sometimes I just can't wrap my head around it. It still feels like a dream. A wonderful happy dream.

14 Weeks and A Belly Pic

Well we are 14 weeks today. Its amazing. At some points it feels so slow and at others its like zooming by. Not much news worthy stuff going on right now. Except that I have been sick for the last week and I finally went to the doctors. I ended up having a really bad sinus infection so now I have pregnancy safe meds to take and hopefully it will go away. I see the doctor in 2 1/2 weeks and then I will schedule my big ultrasound! Hoping to feel movement by or close to the time after I see the doctor. I am putting up some pic of my belly. The 1st one is at 4 weeks when I first found out and the 2nd is a week ago at 13 weeks. Excuse the fatness that is me but I defiantly think I'm starting to get a little bit of bump considering Ive only gained 2 pounds since the beginning.