Memorial *Edited*

I was due today. I know that doesn't mean that he would have came this weekend but this is the date we are going to use. Lets just say its been a really sucky weekend. We did get out and just spent time together and talked alot. We are both very emotional but we are not doing too bad I think. We went to a nice area today and had a little memorial for him. We wrote letters to him and burned them and we released a couple of balloons that had some messages written on them. I took some pictures which I will put at the end here. We miss him so much and we have so many conflicting emotions. We wish that everything didn't happen and that he was still here with us but on the other hand if it would not have happened we would not have peanut right now. Like I said just a lot of emotions going on. I am also including another digital scrap page but be forewarned it does have a picture of Shain when he was born.

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*I can's get the memorial pics to upload I will try again Later*
*but here is the scrapbook page*

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Finally It let me upload the pictures. Here they are.

The Burning Ceremony

Releasing the Balloons

12 Weeks

I have been seriously delinquent and I feel really bad. It has been over 2 weeks since I have posted. Everyone is doing great. In fact I am feeling so much better then I was. I have no more dizziness therefor I have no headaches. I haven't felt any pain from my cyst in over a week now. I'm starting to have a little bit more energy though if I keep not sleeping I'll have less lol. I am a tummy sleeper and it is starting to hurt. Every time I roll in my sleep I wake up because its painful. TP says I should buy a body pillow. We have now told everyone and they are all excited. I think my mom already had figured it out when I told her just by her reaction. Its really hard for her though because she really wants to be here when the baby is born, but my family lives way down in Texas and here we are in Illinois. My mother doesn't fly unless someone came with her and she doesn't drive. So I don't see her getting up here. We heard the heartbeat again last Saturday and it was at 161 so still really nice and strong. I am going to my new doctor on Monday because the one I was seeing only sees you till you are 12 weeks. We are so excited to be past the first trimester. Now we just have to get past week 16. Everything has been going so well but we are still so nervous. This month has been a little hard on both of us because this would have been the month that our little Shain would have been here. Next weekend I will have 3 days off and we are going to do something special to honor him. Not quite sure yet but we have some ideas. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Update Post

Ok Here was my crazy week last week. I woke up on Monday and I was extremely dizzy, so dizzy I could barely make it to the bathroom. But by the time I started getting ready for work it had gone down a little so I went to work. By the time I got to work I was very dizzy again. I didn't even clock in, my boss sent me home. I was like this all week. It never got worse but it didn't get any better. Finally on Thursday i said screw it and I went to the doctor. All she told me was that it was normal. So I'm still a little dizzy but I can handle it. At least its not as bad as it was. Some great news though. When we went to the doctors we got to hear the heartbeat! So exciting!! I think that I could listen to that sound all day long every day. Ok below are some digital scrappages I made. It's the first time I've ever made this kind of stuff and I don't think they are all that great but hey you got to start somewhere. I would love to do real scrapbooking but its just really expensive. The first one is of R at Christmas when we gave him his Jr. jacket. He loved it. He can't wait to wear it now that its not so cold anymore. The second one is peanuts utlrasound pic.

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Pay It Forward

Ok I have been a slacker and should have posted this last week. But better late then never. A lot of stuff going on here and I will post tomorrow on an update on me and the little peanut. I won this over at babypants and now its time for me to pay it forward. the rules are listed below so feel free to comment, first 3 will get something by me. : )

Here are the rules:
1. Be one of the first three people to leave a comment on this post, which entitles you to something handmade by me (something crafty or yummy).
2. Winners must post this challenge on their own blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, and send handmade goodies to three more folks, the first three who leave a comment on your blog.
3. The gift that you send your first three commenters can be from any price range, and you have 365 days to make & ship your item. (This means that you should be planning to keep your blog at least until you’ve received your gift and sent your gifts.) And remember, it’s the spirit and the thought that count!
4. When you receive your gift, feel free to blog about it, and share the Linky Love. If you’re not one of the first three commenters on this post, you can still play. Just create a Pay It Forward post on your own blog, and start your own chain. And encourage your blogging friends to play along.
Okay comment away!!