No Ultrasound Pics

So I went in to have my ultrasound done and the lady only does an external one. Now at 5 weeks you are not going to see anything with only an external. But that is all she does and so I have no pic to post. I saw my doctor right afterwards and asked her way no internal and she tells me that the tech did ask the doctor if she wanted her to do an internal and the doctor said no. She does not like to do internals if you have had a miscarriage before the currant pregnancy. She doesn't want to take the chance. I can see her point but it scares me that I didn't see anything, not even the yolk sac. But the doctor did say that my uterus is enlarged and that I do have a nice thick lining so I will just have to live with that for 2 more weeks. That is when I go back to have another ultrasound. Hopefully at 7 weeks we will see a little more.

Doctor's Appointment

I went to the new doctors and I got to say, I love her. She was very to the point and covered all the bases. I go back and see her in 2 weeks. They have their own ultrasound machine there and I will be getting one done on Monday. She told us that she does early ultrasounds because, one if it is ectopic then they find it early enough. And two, she found the best reassurance for a mother-to-be is to show them there is something in there. I love that. She has delivered 17,000 children in her life, I find that amazing. We are both really positive about her. I am at 5 weeks tomorrow.

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On a sad note. My sister that was pregnant, just lost hers. She was supposed to be 12 weeks and she started to bleed. She went to the er and had an ultrasound and it had stopped growing at 7 weeks. I feel so bad for her. And it make me think, does the universe not want us pregnant at the same time? I lost Shain in October and then in the middle of November she told me she was pregnant. Then I find out I'm pregnant and now she lost hers. I just don't understand some times.

Rescheduled

*Thank's everyone. I did put down the pee sticks and just let myself enjoy this*

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I was supposed to go to the doctors today but I had to reschedule due to everyone in the day care is sick with the flu. So I worked a different shift and am now going to the doctor on Saturday. Now I'm going to admit something that some might look down on but I really don't care. I have to use the state insurance. My place of work doesn't offer insurance and because of all my pre-existing conditions I can't get private unless I want to pay an arm and a leg for it. So I will be using the state. In order to reapply (I still have it for when I was pregnant with Shain) I needed a new proof of pregnancy letter. I went in on my break today to do that. The lady I had I wanted to kill by the end of my visit. She did the test and we waited the time period and this is exactly what she said "The line on there, I can barely see it. I don't know if I should write the letter or not." I almost said You idiot any line is proof of pregnancy. but I didn't. Then she realized that I was only 4 weeks and started going on about how I shouldn't even been there. That I shouldn't have been able to make an appointment till I was 6 weeks. I told her that the front desk never asked me how far I was they just made the appointment. I told her the last time I was pregnant I was only 4 weeks and the lady I had then was ok with me coming in then. The last thing she went into me was the fact that my miscarriage was only 3 months ago and didn't the doctor tell me to wait. No he did not, he told me that the infection that caused it was gone and I was good to go. Right as I'm about to reach over the desk and strangle her she writes the dang letter. So now I have my letter, my insurance and on Saturday I have my appoint (though not with any of these people). Sorry for the rant I just had to get of my chest.

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As far as symptoms go, I'm not really having any. I'm starting to get very tired and that's one of the first things that hit me before. No nausea as of yet. I also got brave and put some tickers up.

Don't Know Quite What's Going On

I've kept on testing waiting for the line to get darker, and its not. In fact I think it is getting lighter. There is still a very faint line but I haven't got any more digital test to see what that one would say. I hope that its going to stick around, but I have no clue as to what is happening. My temp is still high and I've got no cramping or bleeding. I'm going to wait till Wednesday to test again and I will let you know what I find.

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update. Thanks guys for the reassurance. I went ahead and made an appoint for the doctor on Wednesday.

2nd Post Today

I could not handle not really knowing and held my pee all morning long, behold the digital test. Sorry the picture isn't that good.

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There is no Not before that Pregnant. Holy Shit, We're Pregnant!! It is still insanely early, Monday would only be 4 weeks according to LMP. I can't believe it. I am so nervous and scared and oh so Happy I don't know what to do with myself. TP is also very happy of course and very nervous. After what happened I think everyone would be to. Its a little sad because our counting week is going to be Mondays and with Shain it was also on Monday. On the 19th I will be 4 weeks where with Shain I would have been 30. I am going to be calling the doctor on Monday to set up an appointment. Oh I just cant believe it lol.

12 DPO and Question 15, 16 & 17

So today is 12 dpo and I broke down and tested this morning. I'm not quite sure but I think I got a very very faint line. I will test again tomorrow to make sure. I would leave a pic but my phone didn't take a very good pic. If tomorrows is better I will upload it then. Come on belated birthday present! Now on to my last few questions by eeneymeeney.

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Question 15. Who was your first girl kiss with and what were the circumstances ie: school girl crush, your current partner, drunk with a good friend?

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My first kiss was with my one and only TP. She is the first and only person I have kissed. It was after our first official date. When she leaned in to kiss me I got a little nervous (fresh being out at 19 and being outside by the car) that I ducked my head and she kissed the top of it. She never lets me live this moment down to this day and we always have a chuckle over it. I have now more then enough paid up for it :).

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Question 16. Do you have any phobias?

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I am absolutely terrified of spiders. I can't stand them and if one happens to get on me. I shriek and jump and am halfway to the other said of a room before you even know whats happening lol.

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Question 17. Any tattoos?

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No, have none. I really want to get one that I designed myself, but I probably never will because I'm not a real big fan of needles. My honey has 2 though.

Question 13 & 14

Next 2 questions are again by 2moms.

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Question 13. How did you and your partner meet?

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We meet online. When I came out I was still in a pretty conservative place, Oklahoma. We had a little tiny LGBT group and I went...once. So I turned to online not to meet anyone but to talk, ask questions and believe me I had a lot. That's where I met TP. She talked to me. Answered any questions I had no matter how stupid. We talked for a good 5 months and then we decided to meet. To put a face to the name. And when we did we just clicked. It was just instantaneous. Now here we are almost 7 years later just as happy and in love.

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Question 14. Have you ever been skydiving or ever wanted to?

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I have never been but I would love to. I also want to bungee jump. TP thinks I'm insane lol.

Question 10, 11, & 12

I'm now 9DPO and still not really feeling anything right now. I'm holding out on testing till Saturday. Here is the next 3 questions and they are from 2moms.

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Question 10. Do you prefer coke or pepsi?

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Neither, I prefer root beer. But if I have to pick one I would say Pepsi, of the cherry variety.

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Question 11. What is your favorite candy?

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I absolutely love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Love, love, love them lol.

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Question 12. If you could have anything for breakfast, what would it be?

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Homemade waffles with peanut butter and syrup.

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Sorry the answers are so short but I'm off to bed. I have another 12 hr shift tomorrow. They hope to get me out a little early but we will have to see.

Question 8 & 9

I had every intention of writing this yesterday but things came up. I ended up working a 12 hr day and by the time I got home, we had dinner and I went to bed. So here, a day late questions 8 and 9. The first one is from Heidi. And the second is from A. If I'm not to tired when I get home I'll do 2 more tonight.

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Question 8. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life...what would it be?

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This is a very easy one for me. It would be spaghetti and meatballs. I love it. We eat it at least one a week which for TP is more then enough, she doesn't like it very much.

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Question 9. WHAT IS YOUR COMING OUT STORY?When did you come "OUT"? Who was the first person you told? How did your family take it? Was the good and bad experiences?

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My coming out story. I was 19 when I came out to my family. I grew up in TX but when I got out of school I went to Oklahoma for collage. I meet TP there and decided at the end of the year that I wanted to stay the summer with her. My mom and dad were very upset that I was not coming home (I was the first to go out of state even though I'm number 7) and I didn't know quite how to explain. So I wrote a letter telling them. I told them I was gay and that I had meet someone and I was staying there because of her. They were very angry when they read it. My parents are very "Baptist" people and this is not something that is very tolerated. My whole family did not talk to me for 2 years after that. My one sister had connections through a PI firm and had TP checked out. Of course she didn't find anything out but I was very mad about that. When my family did start talking to me again and got to know TP and saw how happy I was they started to get a little better. Now my mom loves her and everything is really good. Sorry this was more a coming out and how I meet TP story but they are kinda one and the same. Now as far as my high school friends, when I told them most of them stopped talking to me. I expected it out of some of them but not all that did. Where I grew up its just very homophobic.

Question 5, 6, & 7

I'm doing 3 questions today because tomorrow's one will be a long one. These are from cindyhoo2.

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Question 5. What is your favorite guilty pleasure (like popping packing bubbles or watching crap tv)?

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Sadly I don't really have any guilty pleasures. I go to work and when I come home I just spend time with TP. We are not people that really go out so we are at home most of the time. If I have to name one thing, I guess it would be watching Big Love. TP hates this show but I really like it.

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Question 6. What book or movie most impacted your life and why?

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I would have to say Schindler's List. I watched this movie when I was only 13 and it had such an effect on me. How much I never what something like that to happen again. And how far we as a whole still need to come to wipe out prejudices. Even after all these years I still watch it at least twice a year.

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Question 7. What could you not live without (aside from your partner)?

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It's going to sound a little silly but I could not live without my little teddy bear that I named Coco. I have had her since I was 3. It was the last thing my grandfather ever gave me before he died of cancer. I used to have to go to the hospital every 6 weeks for blood test and she always came with. Whenever I had any kind of surgeries ( I had 5) I had her in the room with me. Even when I lost Shain TP brought her to me. So I cannot be without her.

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I hope I answered these good enough for you Cindy. If you want more info on these just let me know. Five more days to go till AF might make her appearance. Still have my fingers crossed that that is not going to happen. My fingers are crossed for you too holly.

Question 3 & 4

I have to say that this is really fun and helping to pass the time. On to questions 3 and 4, also by anofferingoflove.

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Number 3. What was your favorite sitcom when you were a teenager?

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My favorite sitcom was Friends. I watched it faithfully until the last couple of years. Now that was not my favorite show though. My favorite was Buffy. I think about 3/4 of my high school watched it though. It was very big.Most of the shows I watch now are forensic or cop shows.

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Number 4. What was the best vacation you ever took?

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That is an easy one. The vacation I took this summer had to be the best. TP and I took R to Disneyworld for the first time for all of us. We went for a whole week and just had a blast. At the time I was just 8 weeks pregnant so I didn't get to go on all the rides and stuff but it was still wonderful. When we paid for it we also included a meal plan which was great because I don't think one meal was under $55.00. We plan on going again when we have our own little one to take. But of course R will still come with us. Taking that vacation had to be my first real one. I come from a family of 12 and with that many it's very hard to afford to go anywhere. Most of the time when we did go someplace it was just visiting family but still in Texas.

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Those were great questions offering! An update of my wait. I am now 5DPO and my temp. is still going up. Its still to early for symptoms though I never got any the first time.

Question 1 & 2

Thanks for playing along with me :). I see some good questions out there, but I think I'll just start from the top and work my way down. The first 2 questions are from anofferingoflove.

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Number One. Did you go to your high school prom? If so, tell us about your dress.

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Yes I did go to my High School Prom. Both of them in fact. Junior Year I wore a light purple long dress. It had short sleeves and dark purple flowers. It was a cheap dress but I had to buy it myself and I had no job at that time. I went with a couple of my friends but no date. I wasn't into guys and had never dated at all at that time. By Senior Year I had realized that I liked girls but living in Texas was not something I acted on. I wore a black skirt that consisted of about 7 see through layers over the bottom solid black lining. The top was a black sleeveless bodice with silver beading. The bottom weighed nothing while the top was about 20 pounds lol. I went with a guy friend (who came out to me about 3 years later) and we had a blast. By the end of senior year I had still never dated anyone.

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Number Two. Do you sing/can you carry a tune? What song always makes you smile?

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I do sing. In fact I love to sing and do it all the time. But sadly I cannot carry a tune. I sound pretty bad to tell the truth. But that will never stop me. Singing makes me happy. One of my favorite things to do when I lived at home was to put my headphones on and go outside on the swing and just sing. Of course I always had a brother or sister coming out and telling me to shut up but I would just keep singing. I have to say the song that always makes me smile is John Deere Green by Joe Diffie. Because it makes me think of my best friend all through school and all the great times we had together.

Passing Time

I am now 3DPO and I'm trying to pass some time away. I want all of yall to get to know me a little better. To do this I want yall to ask me questions. The can be silly, serious, whatever you would like to ask and I will answer them. The only thing I will not reveal is mine and TP's name and the exact place we live and work. Depending on response I will answer one to 2 questions a day. Go ahead and give me what you got :).

TWW

I'm now in my tww. I hate this part. I'm not very good at waiting. And I do not like surprises at all. I just want to know. Anytime I get anything be it Christmas or birthday or whatever, I would rather get the box unwrapped and handed to me then for me to have to undo it. Because I Hate surprises. Come on Jan. 16th! That will be testing day for me. I'm heading off to work to hopefully get my mind off of this or I'm going to drive my poor baby insane.

CD15 And A Smiley Face

I am now on CD15 and I got a smiley face on my OPK today.I'm guessing that I will ovulate sometime tonight or tomorrow. Timing of the insemination's seems to be right on, so we are all very pleased. We did 2 insemination's on Saturday and 1 on Sunday. We will continue to do 1 today and tomorrow, and maybe on Wednesday. I'll leave you with a picture of my smiley face.

Happy Birthday To Me and CD13

Today I turn 26. Not much is planned for today except for we are going to be inseminating today. Now I have not gotten a positive on my opks yet, but I am hoping that my body doesn't change on me. I usually ovulate on cycle day 15, 16, or 17 at the latest. Doing it today tomorrow would be doing it the 2 days before if I ovulate on CD15. Lets hope that's what happen. Now I will continue to do it Monday Tuesday and Wednesday but if it doesn't happen by then we will be done for this month. In four hours we will be picking up some swimmers. All Ive got to say is Ready, Set, Go! And can at least one of you get to the finish line. lol.